Tag Archive: coping skills


summer flower

We all live busy lives in one way or the other. We spend much of our time focusing on what we feel we need to get done and in the process we often overlook ourselves and end up ignoring our own needs. We tell ourselves we’ll attend to our needs when we have the time…and then the time somehow never comes. Sometimes if we over-focus on taking care of those around us for too long, we actually let go of what’s important to us and can even become resentful of doing what we chose to do in the first place. In essence we unintentionally give up our personal power. Without meaning to, we become victim to our circumstances and our lives. But when we wake up to what we are doing and remember that we have a choice in not only what we do, but how we think, we can rebalance our lives and regain our personal power.

Why not take some time for you this summer to reclaim your power for yourself? Consider joining us, at Intuitive Psychology, PLC, in Scottsdale, AZ, for our exciting Find your Power Summertime Workshop Series. This series of four 90 minute monthly educational workshops is a fun way to engage your brain and inspire yourself to pursue those things you’ve been wanting to do. Take a pledge to make yourself a priority this summer and learn the skills you need to move yourself forward in your life. This is an excellent opportunity to learn, laugh, and exchange ideas with others. In June, gain tools to help you move easily through transition and embrace change! In July, discover how to make wise decisions using the power of choice. In August, learn how to find balance in the middle of your busy life. In September, discover the importance of setting healthy boundaries to create happiness in your life and in your relationships. Attend the workshops individually or find out about getting a series discount for pre-purchasing 3 or 4 workshops: 480-261-4061.  

To find out more:

http://us6.campaign-archive1.com/?u=ebe9b90fe3bd13fd0f7764593&id=cfeea4c793&e=

Go ahead…Do it…Make time to discover your personal power this summer…You certainly deserve it…

Embracing Change
June 25, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Power of Choice
July 23, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Finding Balance in Your Life
August 27, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Setting Healthy Boundaries: The secret to happiness
September 24, 2015

See you there!

Be happy and well,

Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

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intuition photo

Intuition:
Listening to your own answers
Thursday, April 30, 2015
6:30pm – 8:00pm
Sometimes we don’t know where to turn when we need solutions to problems – we look to friends, family and professionals, but forget to ask the person who knows us best. Ourselves. This workshop will show you how to navigate through the mysteries of using your intuition to find your own answers. Come discover effective techniques and practical skills for learning to listen more clearly to your intuition.
Sign up for this workshop securely:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/intuition-listening-to-your-own-answers-tickets-11386275657

…maybe meet some new faces and learn something about yourself? Hope to see you there!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

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More time to choose happiness!
I got sick, but am trying to make the best of it. Although the event has been cancelled for tonight and postponed to Thursday, April 2nd at 6:30pm, that just means there’s another opportunity to choose happiness! Hope you can join me…

Choosing Happiness:
rewiring your brain with positivity
Thursday, April 2, 2015
6:30pm – 8:00pm
Intuitive Psychology, PLC
Scottsdale, AZ

Life can get pretty overwhelming at times with deadlines at work, financial stressors, family tension, health issues and more… Somewhere along the way we may lose focus on what makes us happy, which throws off our mind, body, spirit balance. Isn’t it about time to bring back the balance and remember that it is possible to be happy even when things are difficult?

Advanced reservations are required.
To register safely on line:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/choosing-happiness-rewiring-your-brain-for-positivity-tickets-15538602378
Workshop cost is $45 per person by telephone and online, payable by any major credit card, with a discount for students and accompanying family memebers and significant others, living in the same household.
Call 480-261-4061 to register and to find out about series discounts. All sales are final.
Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

Ready for a change? Dreading a change? Change is a natural part of life, yet we have a tendency to let it throw us off balance. Whether you fear it or enjoy it, come join me on Tuesday, March 25th at 6:30pm at Intuitive Psychology, PLC in Scottsdale to talk about how to accept and thrive in the midst of changes in your life. To register call: 480-261-4061.

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bubble colorFree Webinar on Embracing Change
Tuesday, June 11th, noon-1pm Eastern Standard Time

If you’re not in Arizona and can’t make it to my workshops, you may want to attend my online webinar on the intuitive approach to coping with change. You can catch this free webinar I’m doing for my alma mater, Smith College  online on Tuesday, June 11th at 12pm EST.

Change is a normal part of life, yet we have a tendency to let it throw us off balance. Whether you look forward to it or fear it, this workshop will teach you how to accept and thrive in the midst of change. It’s easier than you may think. Click this link for more details on how to register:  http://alumnae.smith.edu/cms/?career=smith-women-connect-career-webinars .  You don’t need to be a Smith alumnae to attend. Anyone interested in attending is welcome to join in on this free webinar.

Be happy and well,

Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

Screen shot 2013-05-01 at 3.40.57 PMTime to Rethink, Reinvent, Recharge? Then the latest issue of AZ-Lifestyle magazine is for you! Check out my newest Mindset column “A New You? Making Your Dreams Real” and get going on following your heart’s desire!
http://az-lifestyle.com/2013/5/513#p=60

A New You? Making Your Dreams Real

As the seasons progress, Spring moving ever closer to Summer, the earth warming and teeming with new life and growth, our heads and hearts fill with thoughts of new beginnings. We dream of something new for ourselves…new job, new hobby, new vision, new adventure. We dream of being reinvigorated. We dream of replenishing our souls. But how?

Rick Hanson, Ph.D. author of “Just One Thing” asks us to be curious. Ask yourself,  “What are the dreams that matter most to me?” You know the answer to this question. This is where your intuition comes into play. The answer that comes will be from your heart. Try to remain open to the answer, rather than allowing yourself to be dismissive, critical and cynical of what you hear. It is our own judgments and our attempts to be purely logical and rational that blocks our dreams. Dreams are not logical, they are passion filled. That’s not to say that further down the line of turning dreams into reality that logic won’t enter the picture. For now, don’t be scared of letting your heart speak its language of emotion and excitement as the dream begins its journey.

The next step is to write down the answers to the question, speak them to people you care about, or maybe even make or collage pictures of them; whatever manner of expression suits you. Let the answers fill your thoughts, your conversations, your dreams, your life. The important part is turning the internal into external — a form of giving birth to these dreams, if you will.

So how do we move from the infancy of our dreams into maturation, from contemplation to reality? By doing, of course. Think about the steps you need to take to get where you want to go. Write them down. Envision the outcome of completing each of these steps. Make them a priority in your heart; that’s where they come from after all. Start today. Start as soon as you’re done reading this article. Make a commitment to yourself to spend time each day with this dream. Keep track of your progress. The fastest way to get momentum is to start moving forward, knowing that everything that you do today will bring you towards your goals of tomorrow. So get moving now.

The important part is to allow yourself to enjoy each small step in the process, rather then making the mistake of living for the future. We simply can not experience the future in the present. Right now is the only reality we have. So let yourself enjoy it fully. Notice how it feels right now to move one step closer to your dream. As you move forward, the reality of this dream may grow and change. That’s okay, as long as you keep nurturing the dream with your heart, it will transform as it needs to, allowing you to simply enjoy the process of watching it unfold.

Possibly the most essential piece of turning your dreams of change into reality is the belief that you can accomplish this task. I’m talking about having faith in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals. Think back to other tasks or dreams that you have accomplished in your life. Noticing the feelings that come over you as you recall these achievements, remind yourself that you are fully capable of achieving what you want. Tell yourself, “I can really do this. I can have what I desire.” Smile at the thought of it. Instead of focusing on obstacles, focus on possibilities. Focus on the areas in which you have control; these are the areas where you can exert influence. The mistake that many of us make is to focus on wishing we could control things that we cannot. That, of course, is a waste of time and energy. Accepting things as they are and focusing on what we can take care of in the present is the direct pathway to getting what we want.

This may take some work. But if you make a point of caring for and nurturing yourself along the way, you will no doubt make it. This means being kind to yourself. How can you fulfill your dreams if you aren’t taking care of the dreamer? Work hard, but also rest, relax, breathe, give and receive love, say encouraging words to yourself, smile at the vision of the new you that you are creating…

So what are you waiting for? The time for a new reinvigorated you is NOW.

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

P.S. Interested in learning more about how to gracefully embrace change in your life? I’ll be giving a free webinar on “Embracing Change” on  Tuesday, June 11th at noon EST. Click this link for more details:  http://alumnae.smith.edu/cms/?career=smith-women-connect-career-webinars .  You need not be a Smith alumnae to attend. Anyone interested in attending is welcome to join in on this free webinar.

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Check out my latest Mindset Column in the “Out and About Issue” of az-lifestyle.com on how to get moving again and accomplish all the things you’ve been wanting to do, just by setting your intention!

http://az-lifestyle.com/2013/3/313#p=60

Get Moving!
Setting Your Intentions and Getting Motivated…

Spring has sprung (or is at least close to springing) and it’s time to get going with those New Year’s resolutions that are quickly becoming stale. What is it you want to do? Are the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year still something you want to do or is it time to modify and recharge? Whatever the answer may be it’s time to set your intentions, get up from the couch and move forward with purpose in the direction you want to go. What’s stopping you?

Unfortunately, all too often when we look towards our future, we worry. Why do we do that? Interestingly, for most of us, worry is typically an attempt to control through anticipation anything bad that could happen. The problem is, not only does it not control for that, it actually points us in the direction of our worries, leading us where we don’t want to go and leaving us feeling more out of control. Even worse, our fears can stop us in our tracks and keep us from moving forward towards what we really want.

Of course, we don’t intentionally want that to happen. We worry out of habit, usually in an automatic mindless state. What happens if instead we catch ourselves worrying and purposely redirect our attention from what we don’t want to happen onto what we do want to happen? What happens if we intentionally decide to point our arrow where we want it to go, rather than where we’re fearful it will go? The answer is, of course, we’re more like to achieve our goals, get what we want, and feel more in control. That sounds good to me. How about you?

Our brain actually reflects these actions. An area of our cortex, called the anterior cingulate gyrus, helps us set our intentions and make reasoned decisions. The amygdala, the hub of our emotional motivation located in our limbic system, can help activate us to move towards our goals. When things are working right, our neurons in the anterior cingulate gyrus and in the amydala actually fire in synchrony with one another, giving us that wonderful feeling that all is well and helping us to achieve our goals…our reason and emotion working together.

You can set your intention for any situation, big or small. When you wake up in the morning, set your intention for the day. Do you want to stay nonreactive in the midst of chaos, have fun, or face a challenge with calmness? Before you enter a meeting, have an important conversation with your spouse, or go on a trip, think about setting your intention about what you would like to have happen and how you would like to behave. Be careful of setting your intention for how you’d like other people to behave or react. Setting your intention aimed at others will almost always lead to failure, as you have no control over anyone but yourself.

Consider paying attention to where you are now, what you want, and where you want to go. When the mind is wandering onto possible negative future scenarios, the head starts hurting, the stomach starts aching, the neck and back get sore, ask yourself, “how is it helping me now to focus on my worries?” Remind yourself that you are the one in control of your thoughts, and of your life, and that when you focus on what you hope will happen you will necessarily feel better. Then redirect your thoughts on how you would like things to be, and allow yourself to take steps, no matter how small, in that direction. Think how good that could feel? Now, this doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen or that there won’t be obstacles along your path. It means that those challenges won’t deter you, if you can allow yourself to keep your eye on your goals.

How to Aim Your Arrow:

  • Purposefully decide to set your intention
  • Sit quietly and focus on what you want
  • Focus your intention on yourself and not on someone else
  • Speak it out loud
  • Write it down
  • See it happening in your minds eye
  • Return to it purposefully, again and again
  • Keep track of it…allow it to take its own shape
  • Don’t let yourself be hijacked by your fears, inattention, or judgments

You can accomplish whatever you put your mind to…so pay attention to where you’re putting your mind!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

 

Voted Editors Pick in PaperBlog in March 2013

http://en.paperblog.com/time-to-get-moving-451794/

I ran across this beautiful Mother Theresa quote on FaceBook and thought I’d share it …

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

Perspective making and inspiring, yes?? Let’s just do our best…

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer
Editor’s Pick on Paperblog in Novemeber!

New groups and workshops forming this month at Intuitive Psychology, PLC in Scottsdale. Interested in connecting with others and learning new skills to enhance your wellbeing? Then you might be interested in attending, Thoughtful Thursdays, Teen Talk, Manage Your Stress to Protect Your Health or Living Well With Parkinson’s.  See what else Dr. Roth-Roemer and Dr. Wise have planned at:
https://www.intuitivepsychologyplc.com/Events.html

 

See you there!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

Check out my latest Mindset Column at: http://az-lifestyle.com/2012/8/812.html?pageindex=134.

Why Worry?

Sometimes life just hands us a big plate of yuck. Even those of us with optimistic tendencies have to admit that sometimes life is hard. The problem is, as much as we know this to be true, in our heart of hearts most of us wish it wasn’t. We wish life could be easy, at least most of the time. So when the tough stuff comes, as it always does, often we go straight to worry. “How will I be able to handle that?” “What if it things don’t turn out well?” “What will people think of me if I fail?” And then we forget. We forget to have faith in ourselves. We forget that there is more than one way to look at a situation. We forget that there are often valuable lessons to be learned from the obstacles that sometimes block our path. Why? It’s habit of course. We worry to try to feel in control again, but ironically, this worry pulls us right out of control by placing us in a future that has not yet occurred and that we have no control over. So instead of the sense of control we were hoping for, we end up feeling even more powerless and confused; landing us in an endless cycle of worry and concern. Blocked from seeing the possibilities and the potential lessons available to us.

So, what can we do about it? Be aware. Pay attention. Be mindful of our thoughts and our behavior. And in this act of present focus we can begin to see that we have a choice. Our fate is not predetermined. Our worries are not facts, they are simply thoughts. We have control over our thoughts and behavior in the now. And in this simple act of anchoring ourselves to the present moment we regain our power and our ability to direct our course. We can be aware of the choices that are available to us presently and we can choose wisely, not reflexively. And no matter how rough it gets, when we remind ourselves that we will get through, that we are capable, that there are blessings around us and valuable lessons to be learned, we open a doorway for forward movement and problem solving. Whereas when we focus on our worries and tell ourselves we can’t possibly get through it, we slam that same door shut.

What happens instead of worrying about our inability to cope, if we cultivate faith in ourselves and our ability to handle the situation? “I’m scared, but it will be O.K.” “I know eventually I’ll figure out what I need to do.” Instead of imagining ourselves failing, allowing ourselves to image that we handle the situation, solve the problem, cope really well.

And of course, what’s good for the goose is also good for the gander. How many times have you found yourself saying “Oh, I’m so worried about my friend, my spouse, my brother, my sister, my child…”? Some of us more often than others, but as my mother says, I’d lay dollars to donuts that something like that comes out of your mouth from time to time, especially during times of stress. In fact, some of us may even spend more time worrying about those we love than ourselves. Talk about feeling out of control! Now not only are we worrying about an unknown future, we’re worrying about a future that is not even ours to make choices about. Why do we do it? When we give others our worry, what are we actually saying? “I don’t believe you can handle things?” “I don’t have faith in you?” “I don’t think things will turn out your way?” Now really, who in their right mind would actually say that to anybody they cared about? Yet, without meaning to, that’s exactly what we are saying. We need to realize that our worry won’t help the people we love, our faith in them will. Next time you have concern about someone that you love, instead of thinking or saying, “Oh, I’m so worried about you” perhaps instead you could think or say, “I have faith in you.” ” I know you’ll be able to handle this.” What a gift your faith is. Rather than weighing them down with your fears and worries, you give them wings to fly with your caring and your faith…which is really what you meant to do the whole time, isn’t it?

So, faith vs. worry. Which do you choose?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

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