Tag Archive: choice


summer flower

We all live busy lives in one way or the other. We spend much of our time focusing on what we feel we need to get done and in the process we often overlook ourselves and end up ignoring our own needs. We tell ourselves we’ll attend to our needs when we have the time…and then the time somehow never comes. Sometimes if we over-focus on taking care of those around us for too long, we actually let go of what’s important to us and can even become resentful of doing what we chose to do in the first place. In essence we unintentionally give up our personal power. Without meaning to, we become victim to our circumstances and our lives. But when we wake up to what we are doing and remember that we have a choice in not only what we do, but how we think, we can rebalance our lives and regain our personal power.

Why not take some time for you this summer to reclaim your power for yourself? Consider joining us, at Intuitive Psychology, PLC, in Scottsdale, AZ, for our exciting Find your Power Summertime Workshop Series. This series of four 90 minute monthly educational workshops is a fun way to engage your brain and inspire yourself to pursue those things you’ve been wanting to do. Take a pledge to make yourself a priority this summer and learn the skills you need to move yourself forward in your life. This is an excellent opportunity to learn, laugh, and exchange ideas with others. In June, gain tools to help you move easily through transition and embrace change! In July, discover how to make wise decisions using the power of choice. In August, learn how to find balance in the middle of your busy life. In September, discover the importance of setting healthy boundaries to create happiness in your life and in your relationships. Attend the workshops individually or find out about getting a series discount for pre-purchasing 3 or 4 workshops: 480-261-4061.  

To find out more:

http://us6.campaign-archive1.com/?u=ebe9b90fe3bd13fd0f7764593&id=cfeea4c793&e=

Go ahead…Do it…Make time to discover your personal power this summer…You certainly deserve it…

Embracing Change
June 25, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Power of Choice
July 23, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Finding Balance in Your Life
August 27, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Setting Healthy Boundaries: The secret to happiness
September 24, 2015

See you there!

Be happy and well,

Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

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summer flower

Time to gear up for summer!

*May 28, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm
Setting Your Intentions, Fulfilling Your Goals
*June 25, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm

Embracing Change
*July 23, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm
Power of Choice
*August 27, 2015 6:30pm-8:00pm
Finding Balance in Your Life
*September 24, 2015
Setting Healthy Boundaries: The secret to happiness

In May, learn how to set your intentions and achieve your goals. Intentions help us create purposeful maps to guide us in the direction we would like to go on our life path. They are the stepping stones of our lives. Without them we are in danger of becoming lost. In this 90 minute workshop we will discuss strategies for purposefully identifying and following your intentions so that you may successfully reach your goals..
To register:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/setting-your-intention-fulfilling-your-goals-tickets-15636878324

Next up, join us for our exciting Find your Power Summertime Workshop Series! Take a pledge to make yourself a priority this summer and learn the skills you need to move yourself forward in your life. In June, gain tools to help you move easily through transition and embrace change! In July, discover the power of choice. In August, learn how to find balance in your life. In September, discover the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Attend the workshops individually or find out about getting a series discount for pre-purchasing 3 or 4 workshops: 480-261-4061.  

To find out more:

http://us6.campaign-archive2.com/?u=ebe9b90fe3bd13fd0f7764593&id=0dc477c93c

Be happy and well,

Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

nrm2185-i1 Will you allow your life to take shape as it unfolds in front of you? Making choices as new situations, new opportunities, new obstacles arise? Or will you spend your energy making the things you want happen? Envisioning your life as it should be, striving for perfection? Trick question, isn’t it? Be honest with yourself, which did you choose?

So many of us were raised to force our way through life. If we wanted “it” we were taught to go out and get “it”, no matter what. Pull yourself up by the boot straps and make it happen. That way worked well at one time in our very recent history. Fledgling nations like America were built on this type of determination and perseverance. It isn’t a bad thing, it just doesn’t seem to work as well as it used to anymore. Why?

Everything changes with time. At some point, a significant shift seems to have occurred. Our world sped up. We became so busy and overloaded with stimulation and information coming at us from all directions at every moment, that now, if we get caught up in a struggle with everything that comes our way, we will live our life in struggle…and we will suffer for it. We will get stressed, we will get unhappy, our relationships will come apart, our bodies will get sick and our culture will erode. The make-it-happen approach was for a slower paced time in our history. In this high octane world of ours, we now need to make every moment count. How do we do that? We get smarter, we become aware, we focus on the present moment where we have control over our choices, and we go with the flow. With eyes wide open we allow life to happen and we make purposeful choices about how we want to engage with it. Instead of struggling and forcing, we surf, we dance, we ride the waves, we move with the pace of our lives without resistance. Sometimes easier said than done, for sure, but with practice, the rewards are great. A life of less upset, greater ease, improved health, happy relationship, and culture that flourishes and ultimately more accomplishment. If we aren’t wasting our time on the struggle, we have more time to enjoy, connect and grow.

Practice. It will get easier and easier. Take time to meditate. Take a yoga or a tai chi class. Concentrate on the sky and the trees and the rocks as you take your morning walk. Breathe and pay attention to that simplest of life sustaining activities. When life happens to you, choose your path wisely. Think about who you want to be… and how that choice fits into the vision of who you are moving towards becoming and where you are going. I’m not saying it will be easy. Some of the choices in front of you may be hard ones. But if they are the right ones for you, they will lead you away from struggle and into growth.

For some, this will be a hard pill to swallow. Struggle has become the norm for many of us. But does it have to remain so? What do you gain from it? Can you still feel proud of the choices you make if direct struggle was not involved? I think you can…because it still takes effort, doesn’t it? I am not talking about taking the easy way out. Going with the flow of life and making choices as the come to us, still takes hard work, perseverance, and bravery…all things we can be proud of when the day is done and the choice is made.

Look, life is gonna come at us no matter what. Our choice is how we will engage. Will we struggle and force our way through it, or will we have the grace to sit back, observe, follow our intuition and enjoy the ride it takes us on?

What do you think?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

radio2I hope you will tune in this Friday, August 1st at 12noon MST when I talk about Choice and Aging on my friend Bob Roth’s radio show “Health Futures: Taking Stock in You!” on KFNN 1510AM/99.3 FM or stream it live that day at:
http://streamdb4web.securenetsystems.net/v5/KFNN

Bob has a wonderful way of bringing out the best in people. This should be a good listen!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

Purple-butterfly

So I took my 16 year old son shopping the other day…yes, you heard me right, I purposely took my teenage son to a clothing store to buy a shirt and tie for an important event. I know it was a set up, but it had to be done. It was after school and he was really tired and a little (maybe a lot) cranky. He fussed and complained and told me repeatedly that he wanted to go home. Eventually we found him a very nice looking shirt and tie and as we left the store he said to me sweetly and sincerely, “Thank you, Mom.” I smiled and said back to the boy who is used to having a mother who is a psychologist, “So I am wondering, does it feel better when you are annoyed and upset with me, or does it feel better when you are thankful and appreciative of me?” He got into the car, and answered with a little smile on his face, “…the better one…”

We forget, you know. We get so caught up in our right to feel angry and annoyed, that we forget that it makes us feel bad when we hold on to it for too long. Now I am not advocating for disallowing anger, shoving it down or denying it. I am talking about recognizing it, looking at it for what it is, and letting it move through; especially when we are talking about frustration and upset at the people we love the most. Are you happier when you are stuck in the resentment you are feeling when someone you care about hurts your feelings inadvertently, or do you feel better when you breathe, let it go, and remember why you love them in the first place?

One of my favorite quotes, often attributed to Buddha, is, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” No matter who said it, it’s true. We are the ones who are hurt by hanging on to feelings of anger, frustration and victimization. It disempowers us, it makes us sick, it causes us emotional, physical and spiritual harm.

So how do we do it? How do we let go of something that makes us really upset and angry? How do we put down something that we have a real reason to be mad about? We have to ask ourselves…”is this constant anger hurting me? Is it holding me back? Is it preventing me from moving forward in my life? Is it making me feel bad or sick? If the answer is “yes”, and often it is when we’ve been nursing an old hurt, we need to begin to look for a new story to tell ourselves. Even if the story is, “I can’t be held back and hurt by this any more. I need to let go and move forward in my life. I am going to stop making the case for my anger.”

Ask yourself what I asked my son. What makes you feel better? To feel angry or to feel grateful? There is always something to be grateful for if we look around us. Feel what you feel, don’t deny it, but allow yourself to move through the difficult stuff. You have a choice. You are nobody’s victim. When you remember that you have a choice in how you look at a situation and what you say to yourself about it, you step into your power.

Will you choose “the better one”?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

 

choiceChoice is the most powerful tool we have to get us from where we are today to where we want to be tomorrow…but sometimes, without meaning to, we end up getting in our own way. Come join me this Wednesday, the 18th of April, to learn the tools you need to confidently choose a path towards the things you want in your career and in your life. Dr. Sari Roth-Roemer is an intuitive psychologist with over 20 years of experience teaching people how to trust their intuition and how to make wise choices for themselves.
Event: The Power of Choice : Navigational Tips for Entrepreneurs and Other Brave Souls
When: Wednesday 16 April 2014, 12:00 PM – 01:00 PM Eastern Time/9:00 AM – 10:00 AM Pacific and Mountain Time

Audio Conference Details:

To register now, please visit the following link: https://smith.adobeconnect.com/navigational/event/registration.html

To find out more about the event, please visit the following link: link:https://smith.adobeconnect.com/navigational/event/event_info.html

I hope you can join me!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

nrm2185-i1Will you allow your life to take shape as it unfolds in front of you? Making choices as new situations, new opportunities, new obstacles arise? Or will you spend your energy making the things you want happen? Envisioning your life as it should be, striving for perfection? Trick question, isn’t it? Be honest with yourself, which did you choose?

So many of us were raised to force our way through life. If we wanted “it” we were taught to go out and get “it”, no matter what.  Pull yourself up by the boot straps and make it happen. That way worked well at one time in our very recent history. Fledgling nations like America were built on this type of determination and perseverance. It isn’t a bad thing, it just doesn’t seem to work as well as it used to anymore. Why?

Everything changes with time. At some point, a significant shift seems to have occurred. Our world sped up. We became  so busy and overloaded with stimulation and information coming at us from all directions at every moment,  that now, if we get caught up in a struggle with everything that comes our way, we will live our life in struggle…and we will suffer for it. We will get stressed, we will get unhappy, our relationships will come apart, our bodies will get sick and our culture will erode. The make-it-happen approach was for a slower paced time in our history. In this high octane world of ours, we now need to make every moment count. How do we do that? We get smarter, we become aware, we focus on the present moment where we have control over our choices, and we go with the flow. With eyes wide open we allow life to happen and we make purposeful choices about how we want to engage with it. Instead of struggling and forcing, we surf, we dance, we ride the waves, we move with the pace of our lives without resistance. Sometimes easier said than done, for sure, but with practice, the rewards are great. A life of less upset, greater ease, improved health, happy relationship, and culture that flourishes and ultimately more accomplishment. If we aren’t wasting our time on the struggle, we have more time to enjoy, connect and grow.

Practice. It will get easier and easier. Take time to meditate. Take a yoga or a tai chi class. Concentrate on the sky and the trees and the rocks as you take your morning walk. Breathe and pay attention to that simplest of life sustaining activities. When life happens to you, choose your path wisely. Think about who you want to be… and how that choice fits into the vision of who you are moving towards becoming and where you are going. I’m not saying it will be easy. Some of the choices in front of you may be hard ones. But if they are the right ones for you, they will lead you away from struggle and into growth.

Look, life is gonna come at us no matter what. Our choice is how we will engage. Will we struggle and force our way through it, or will we have the grace to sit back, observe, follow our intuition and enjoy the ride it takes us on?

What do you think?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer, Ph.D.

Screen shot 2013-03-02 at 9.20.43 AM

Check out my latest Mindset Column in the “Out and About Issue” of az-lifestyle.com on how to get moving again and accomplish all the things you’ve been wanting to do, just by setting your intention!

http://az-lifestyle.com/2013/3/313#p=60

Get Moving!
Setting Your Intentions and Getting Motivated…

Spring has sprung (or is at least close to springing) and it’s time to get going with those New Year’s resolutions that are quickly becoming stale. What is it you want to do? Are the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year still something you want to do or is it time to modify and recharge? Whatever the answer may be it’s time to set your intentions, get up from the couch and move forward with purpose in the direction you want to go. What’s stopping you?

Unfortunately, all too often when we look towards our future, we worry. Why do we do that? Interestingly, for most of us, worry is typically an attempt to control through anticipation anything bad that could happen. The problem is, not only does it not control for that, it actually points us in the direction of our worries, leading us where we don’t want to go and leaving us feeling more out of control. Even worse, our fears can stop us in our tracks and keep us from moving forward towards what we really want.

Of course, we don’t intentionally want that to happen. We worry out of habit, usually in an automatic mindless state. What happens if instead we catch ourselves worrying and purposely redirect our attention from what we don’t want to happen onto what we do want to happen? What happens if we intentionally decide to point our arrow where we want it to go, rather than where we’re fearful it will go? The answer is, of course, we’re more like to achieve our goals, get what we want, and feel more in control. That sounds good to me. How about you?

Our brain actually reflects these actions. An area of our cortex, called the anterior cingulate gyrus, helps us set our intentions and make reasoned decisions. The amygdala, the hub of our emotional motivation located in our limbic system, can help activate us to move towards our goals. When things are working right, our neurons in the anterior cingulate gyrus and in the amydala actually fire in synchrony with one another, giving us that wonderful feeling that all is well and helping us to achieve our goals…our reason and emotion working together.

You can set your intention for any situation, big or small. When you wake up in the morning, set your intention for the day. Do you want to stay nonreactive in the midst of chaos, have fun, or face a challenge with calmness? Before you enter a meeting, have an important conversation with your spouse, or go on a trip, think about setting your intention about what you would like to have happen and how you would like to behave. Be careful of setting your intention for how you’d like other people to behave or react. Setting your intention aimed at others will almost always lead to failure, as you have no control over anyone but yourself.

Consider paying attention to where you are now, what you want, and where you want to go. When the mind is wandering onto possible negative future scenarios, the head starts hurting, the stomach starts aching, the neck and back get sore, ask yourself, “how is it helping me now to focus on my worries?” Remind yourself that you are the one in control of your thoughts, and of your life, and that when you focus on what you hope will happen you will necessarily feel better. Then redirect your thoughts on how you would like things to be, and allow yourself to take steps, no matter how small, in that direction. Think how good that could feel? Now, this doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen or that there won’t be obstacles along your path. It means that those challenges won’t deter you, if you can allow yourself to keep your eye on your goals.

How to Aim Your Arrow:

  • Purposefully decide to set your intention
  • Sit quietly and focus on what you want
  • Focus your intention on yourself and not on someone else
  • Speak it out loud
  • Write it down
  • See it happening in your minds eye
  • Return to it purposefully, again and again
  • Keep track of it…allow it to take its own shape
  • Don’t let yourself be hijacked by your fears, inattention, or judgments

You can accomplish whatever you put your mind to…so pay attention to where you’re putting your mind!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

 

Voted Editors Pick in PaperBlog in March 2013

http://en.paperblog.com/time-to-get-moving-451794/

I ran across this beautiful Mother Theresa quote on FaceBook and thought I’d share it …

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

Perspective making and inspiring, yes?? Let’s just do our best…

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer
Editor’s Pick on Paperblog in Novemeber!

Life can be unkind at times. Sad but true. Situations can be unfair, people can be hurtful, things can turn out much differently than you’d hope they would. At times like this it is very hard not to get caught up in being a victim to it all. You know what I mean. Caught in that angry blaming place of “It’s so unfair! I can’t believe this happened to me!” Human for sure, normal response in the short term, but completely unhelpful in the long run.

What happens if you let yourself stay in that place of upset and anger? If you poke yourself with it over and over. Well…you stay upset and angry. So, what’s the alternative? Let go and forgive. How can you forgive when you’ve been unfairly wronged, you may ask. You remind yourself that forgiveness is not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about letting go of a hurt that will keep on hurting you unless you release it. It’s about choosing to harbor compassion in your heart rather than hate and anger. It’s not always easy, but I will argue that it is the right choice…and in that choice you are no longer a victim to the hurt and the upset.

Forgiveness comes a little bit easier when you recognize and accept that there are just some things in this world that are out of your control. No matter how hard you would like to make those things right or fair, you can’t. Forgiveness and compassion offers us an opportunity to heal and let go so we can move forward. Anger will just keep us mired in our upset. It will stunt our growth. It will stop us from moving ahead on our path, because it blocks our progress and drowns out our intuition. Forgiveness is not about righting wrongs and undoing the hurts of the past, it is about allowing ourselves to build a healthy, meaningful future.

So, when you are feeling hurt and angry by life and those in it:

  1. Take a breath
  2. Say a little prayer, if you need some divine assistance
  3. Find the compassion in your heart
  4. Ask yourself to release your hurt and upset
  5. Repeat the process as often as you need…

It may take some time and a lot of purposeful practice, but once you get to that place of forgiveness and compassion in your heart, you’ll be glad you’re there. Give it a try and see if it feels right to you?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

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