Archive for November, 2012


I ran across this beautiful Mother Theresa quote on FaceBook and thought I’d share it …

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

Perspective making and inspiring, yes?? Let’s just do our best…

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer
Editor’s Pick on Paperblog in Novemeber!

Life can be unkind at times. Sad but true. Situations can be unfair, people can be hurtful, things can turn out much differently than you’d hope they would. At times like this it is very hard not to get caught up in being a victim to it all. You know what I mean. Caught in that angry blaming place of “It’s so unfair! I can’t believe this happened to me!” Human for sure, normal response in the short term, but completely unhelpful in the long run.

What happens if you let yourself stay in that place of upset and anger? If you poke yourself with it over and over. Well…you stay upset and angry. So, what’s the alternative? Let go and forgive. How can you forgive when you’ve been unfairly wronged, you may ask. You remind yourself that forgiveness is not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about letting go of a hurt that will keep on hurting you unless you release it. It’s about choosing to harbor compassion in your heart rather than hate and anger. It’s not always easy, but I will argue that it is the right choice…and in that choice you are no longer a victim to the hurt and the upset.

Forgiveness comes a little bit easier when you recognize and accept that there are just some things in this world that are out of your control. No matter how hard you would like to make those things right or fair, you can’t. Forgiveness and compassion offers us an opportunity to heal and let go so we can move forward. Anger will just keep us mired in our upset. It will stunt our growth. It will stop us from moving ahead on our path, because it blocks our progress and drowns out our intuition. Forgiveness is not about righting wrongs and undoing the hurts of the past, it is about allowing ourselves to build a healthy, meaningful future.

So, when you are feeling hurt and angry by life and those in it:

  1. Take a breath
  2. Say a little prayer, if you need some divine assistance
  3. Find the compassion in your heart
  4. Ask yourself to release your hurt and upset
  5. Repeat the process as often as you need…

It may take some time and a lot of purposeful practice, but once you get to that place of forgiveness and compassion in your heart, you’ll be glad you’re there. Give it a try and see if it feels right to you?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

The new issue of AZ-Lifestyle.com on Giving Thanks is out! Take a look at: http://az-lifestyle.com/2012/11/1112.html. While you’re at it, check out my new Mindset column on page 52…

Are you ready for the holidays??

Presents to buy, meals to cook, parties to plan, family to see, airports to travel in, runny noses to wipe…the list goes on. Every year it is more or less the same, we know the holidays are coming and yet many of us are surprised and frustrated by how busy and overwhelmed we are by the time they get here. Those of us who are stressed pretend that life goes on as usual; right up until the time the holidays are smack in front of our faces, demanding our time and attention. Those of us who have smiles on our faces and who are minimally stressed have already made room for the holidays in our autumn routine. That’s the secret. “Really?” You groan to yourself, “That’s the secret? To become one of those people who boasts about getting their holiday shopping done in August??” Well, kinda…

Stress occurs when our normal routine is broken, challenging us to spread our resources thinner than we had anticipated. When I say resources, I’m talking about emotional, cognitive, physical, energetic, time, and monetary resources. When we fail to plan for over-expenditure of all of these at once, we are setting ourselves up for overload. Our stress level rises and we become depleted. Sometimes that depletion can become so severe that our immune system breaks down and we get physically sick, adding further to our holiday load.

On the other hand, when we adjust our expectations and plan ahead, a whole different scenario unfolds. We can anticipate how we want to spend our time, energy and money; saving not just those resources from running out, but protecting our emotional, cognitive and physical reserves, as well. Yes, I am asking you to do the obvious. Expect that the holidays will come into your lives starting sometime after Halloween, when holiday music, decorations, and merchandise starts to emerge in retail stores. Decide how you will adjust your routine to accommodate their annual appearance. Make room for the holidays in all areas of your life.

Instead of anticipating the holidays with dread and worry, allow yourself to envision how you would like them to unfold. You’re going on a trip to see your family? Aside from the practical (buying plane tickets, reserving a car, and getting a dog sitter in place), look ahead to the busy weeks before you leave. Literally plan out time in your day to take care of the things that need to get done. As an alternative to being annoyed by all you have to do, accept that this is a part of your fall routine, and adjust your schedule accordingly. Then allow yourself to think about the things you are looking forward to on the trip.

You see where I’m going with this, right? Yup, I’m asking you to be in control of how you spend your time and energy. Rather than being a victim to the yearly holiday ritual, decide how you want to divvy up your personal resources. More than that, be aware of your holiday attitude. Are you telling yourself how much you dislike this time of year and how it intrudes on your life, or are you allowing yourself to focus on the aspects of the holidays you enjoy?

Sure the holidays ask more from us, than any other time of year, but if we allow them to, they can also give more to us. We don’t have to just spend our resources, if we’re smart about it, we can actually replenish them. Increased time and connection with friends and people we love, sharing old memories and traditions, making new memories and traditions, spiritual and emotional renewal, taking time off from work and taking care of ourselves…all of these are available to us if we allow it.

Concerned you’ll forget? Here’s a “Holiday Stress Less List” for your fridge:

  • As the holidays approach, reserve a half hour each day, and one hour on the weekend, to take care of  “holiday related” details.
  • When you think about the holidays…SMILE.
  • When you stress about the holidays…TAKE THREE DEEP BREATHS.
  • Focus on at least one positive aspect of the holidays you’re looking forward to this year.

Expect the time pressures and added responsibility at this time of year, and look forward to the pleasure that the holidays can bring into your life. When you anticipate what you’d like to have happen you’re more than likely to find it. So what would you prefer?

Stressed Holidays or Happy Holidays? It’s really up to you!

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

 

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