Coping through the tough stuff

Sometimes life just hands us a big plate of yuck. Even those of us with Pollyanna tendencies have to admit that sometimes life is hard. The problem is, as much as we know this to be true, in our heart of hearts most of us wish it wasn’t. We wish life could be easy, at least most of the time. So when the tough stuff comes, as it always does, often we worry, we fear the worst, we feel we have no control, we project ourselves into negative future outcomes. And we forget. We forget to have faith in ourselves. We forget that there is more than one way to look at a situation. We forget that there are valuable lessons to be learned from the obstacles that sometimes block our path. Why? It’s habit of course. We worry to try to feel in control again, but ironically, this worry pulls us right out of control by placing us in a future that has not yet occurred and that we have no control over.

So what can we do about it? Be aware. Pay attention. Be mindful of our thoughts and our behavior. And in this act of present focus we can begin to see that we have a choice. Our fate is not predetermined. We have control over our thoughts and behavior in the now. And it is what we do now that will propel us to the future we desire. And in this simple act of anchoring ourselves to the present moment we regain our power and our ability to direct our course. We can be aware of the choices that are available to us and we can choose wisely, not reflexively. And no matter how rough it gets, when we remind ourselves that we will get through, that we are capable, that there are blessings around us and valuable lessons to be learned, we open a doorway for forward movement and problem solving. Whereas when we focus on our fears and tell ourselves we can’t possibly get through it, we slam that same door shut. So what’s the trick? Believe in yourself and your ability to cope. Know that you are supported by your faith in the universe and higher power that exists beyond you. You are not alone. And in that knowing you will feel the support that is there for you, even in your darkest of times. Listen to that inner voice inside you. It may take some time. But if you are patient, and tell yourself the answer will come, just as it always does, it will. It’s worth giving it a try anyhow isn’t it?

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer


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