Transitions: Bumpy Roads to New Life Lessons

Growth does not occur in the midst of comfort…ugh. ‘Tis true, my friends. In order to grow in life we have to struggle first. On the one hand, it doesn’t seem quite fair, having to hurt to gain. On the other hand, it is kinda nice to know there’s a reward waiting on the other side of something difficult. The trick is to remind yourself as you’re going through the process that there is something to be gained at the end of the road. It is what helps propel us forward, even when we think we can’t take one step more. It seems these days many folks are finding themselves in the midst of some pretty big transitions. This can be viewed either as a bad thing or a really wonderful thing. Remember, it’s all in your perspective. How you look at things really does make a difference…so choose carefully.

Tips for surviving a transition or growth episode:
1. Approach the future with wonder and curiosity, rather than judgment and worry. If you keep an open mind about what you will find ahead, you may just find something interesting out there.
2. Keep your eye on the prize. Even if you don’t know what it is yet (and even if you don’t quite believe it), tell yourself something good is coming your way. It’s surprising how this simple thing can help us keep the pace. Sometimes we’re so fearful about the unknown, that we unintentionally hold on to what we’re leaving behind, which gets in our way of moving forward.
3. Take one small step at a time. Things are more manageable if you break them down into small steps. It’s the small steps that make up the big steps, after all.
4. Let go of what you can’t control and stay focused on what you can control in the present. Learning to tell the difference between the two is critical. (Clue: if something is not working after repeated attempts, take a look at whether it was really something under your control in the first place.) When we try to control what’s not ours to control, we make ourselves feel more out of control!
5. Get some support. Talk to someone you care about. Preferably a friend who knows how to make you smile and who can boost your spirits. Laughing, praying or meditating can boost your spirits as well.
6. Take a break whenever you can. Listen to music, take a walk, go for a swim, pet an animal, hug someone you love, take a warm bath, rent a comedy, repair a sink…whatever works for you to distract yourself pleasantly for a short while so you can rejuvenate and get back to it. Remember it’s just a break though…don’t use it as an excuse to stop or get stuck.
7. Keep making conscious choices. Ask yourself if what you are doing is helping and if it is moving you forward. If it is not, ask yourself what will help…don’t forget to listen for the answer. Fear, anger and frustration can get in the way of listening. So, take a breath or a few, let go of the upset and listen to your inner voice for the answers you need.
8. Most importantly, keep faith in yourself. If you remind yourself you can get through the tough time, you increase your chances of success exponentially. But if you tell yourself you can’t succeed, you set yourself up for failure. Be careful not to get in your own way.

What helps you get through the tough transitions? I’d love to hear, if you’d like to share…

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer

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